danconnolly.co.uk

Remove all French words from British passports

August 5, 2016

This… This is a joke… right?

Whether ‘Dieu et mon droit’ and ‘Honi qui mal y pense’ have existed as mottos in England for ages is irrelevant. French is an EU language and has no place on a UK passport.

Hmm. Where to start.

Ukpassport-cover

Well, passport is a French word so we’ll probably have to get rid of that too.

‘Honi soit qui mal y pense’ is the motto of the Order of the Garter. A 700 year old order that represent the third highest honour the UK can bestow upon an individual and is dedicated to St George, the patron saint of England. Then again he was Syrian and I guess even if we gave the French a pass we wouldn’t want anything to do with Syrians on there either so the motto is definitely gone.

I’m pretty sure Lions aren’t native to the UK so they’ll have to go too. The Unicorn will need to fuck off back to Narnia. I guess we can keep the harp though, we have harps, right? And the crown. We definitely have a crown. Although the fleur-de-lis will have to go. And the crosses pattée. Some of those jewels look a bit foreign to me too.

Thinking about it English will probably remain an EU language in which case we can’t have the words “United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland” on there either. Dirty EU languages.

So I *think* the new British passport is a shield with a harp in the lower left quarter, with a jewel-less crown on top and no words. Oh, and a blue background. Don’t forget the blue background.

passport

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