“This dog thought she was human.”

“That explains a lot.”

In terms of entertainment it doesn’t get much better than this: Derek in a studio setting with his fans and followers who have come from miles to see and interact with them. Guided by the spirits, Derek will talk to the audience, bringing them messages from the spirit world, reading keepsakes and family heirlooms as well as communicating with pets from the audience…

What the fuck? Just saw the trail for this after Futurama and all I can think is, “What the fuck?”

The clip they have on the Sky site is as good:

“He said it had been on display and it had been in the cupboard, it’d been hidden away.”

Sorry? Have I missed other places you tend to put Christmas decorations? What was he going to say? “I feel this item has baked at 170 degrees for several hours every 3rd of June and then attached to your bicycle wheel as a makeshift clacker.” Where the fuck else is going to be? Even if it’s only one of them he’s 50% right because when the two options are in sight and out of sight there aren’t any other possibilities.

What’s that Derek? She just told you that she was going to get it out this Christmas but didn’t? And what’s that you’re getting? The decoration is telling you it was going to be placed on the tree this Christmas but wasn’t? Are you sure it’s the decoration telling you that and it wasn’t her who just told you that? Like right then, just before you said it?