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Best Star Wars and Batman origins

Two gems from Reddit (both via @andrewducker).

First up: Darth Jar-Jar.

In brief, the Darth Jar-Jar theory posits that Jar-Jar’s unbelievable ‘luck’ and consistent shattering of our suspension of disbelief isn’t because he’s an absurd cliche designed to sell toys but rather a skilled master of both combat and deception (how else could someone be consistently good at defeating enemies, unscathed, whilst appearing so utterly incompetent) who has (literally) hand-waved himself to positions of power (General Jar-Jar? Senator Jar-Jar!?).

Once you buy this it’s only a short leap to conclude that he and Palpatine are in cahoots from the start.

As for why there’s no great reveal our author theorises that Lucas got cold feet and we got Dooku instead, which explains why Dooku just appears out of nowhere (and is gone as quickly).

It’s certainly a fun read, and for something that’s (surely) in jest it’s actually, kinda… credible?

Then we have Batman.

The best Batman twist there never was.

I don’t think I’ll go in to too much detail about it here for fear of ruining, but it starts:

It’s a couple years from now, the chips are on the line, the multiverse is at stake, again… only this time it all comes down to Batman. He defeats the ultimate evil, only to find himself launched through time… into a strangely familiar city. Scrambling to find some clothes after his costume got destroyed by Z-rays in the epic battle, he nabs some threads off a low-hanging clothesline. He leaves his bat-wallet full of cash on the windowsill… he’s not a bad guy, after all.

Just then, he sees a family of three emerge from the alley the clothesline was in.

Keep reading.