Adventures in Online Dating, Pt 3

(Part 1, Part 2)

Starting to think I should change the title to “Observations” rather than “Adventures”. Or start actually writing about my adventures like: “The Girl Who Definitely Thought She Was Going To End Up In A Murder Basement” and “The Nazi Dentist Affair“…

Observations first:

More wedding photos than I was expecting on Tinder (as in *their* wedding). I guess it was a day they looked really nice but still quite weird (and presumably a little while ago at least). There’s also a related group that use exclusively shots of them with (who I can only assume) is their former partner. Again, a bit weird.

Group shots! So many people with only group shots. In most cases it’s a solvable exercise but in some there are at least two of the same individual in every shot… My guess is that if your first pic is a group shot and the viewer likes at least one girl in it they have to view more to work out which one you are which means they get to see more about you? Makes sense. Also a special shout out to the girl whose description read, “To save confusion later: I’m the brown one”.

Talking of descriptions, there aren’t many. I guess I’m used to Match where even when you can’t see much about a person you can still see a bit. I suppose the idea is if you think someone’s attractive then swipe right and if they feel the same you can chat and work out if you actually like each other. I do like knowing a bit about a person in advance though, if you smoke, go clubbing 4 nights a week, hate cats and are football mad you’re probably not the girl for me.

Quite funny seeing people you know on there, especially when their photo looks so unlike them it takes you a while to work out who this person with whom you share so many friends could possibly be! (Also funny to see the profile of someone you share an office with and had no idea they were interested in any of the things they mention – I’m a rubbish colleague.)

Was a bit thrown but one profile that just read Cancer. I thought, “Fuck, that’s pretty heavy, but I guess anyone getting into a relationship with you should know.” Several minutes later I realised it was her star sign.

Also, apparently having a picture of you with an eagle as your main profile pic isn’t as cool as I think it is. Lizzy talked me out of this on Match, Helen’s done the same on Tinder. Bloody girls, what do they know.

* Definitely not as bad as it sounds, out of habit I lock my car doors when I’m driving, when I dropped her off (after a slightly awkward but not terrible evening) the door didn’t open she had a moment of panic that I was about to drive off with her and feed her to my cats or something. We joked about it, briefly, then she got out of the car as quickly as possible.

** Fourth date was going well, then things escalated quickly. Started off with a fairly out of the blue “We don’t remember Nelson Mandela for the terrorist he was,” which leapt fairly swiftly on to “The Final Solution wasn’t really the Nazi’s fault,” and finished with a dash of, “I know not *all* Syrians are terrorists”…


Chewbacca + Squirrel Steed vs Nazis


The story behind it.